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Why Me?Born in West Texas, Midland to be exact, I was blessed to be raised in an area considered to be Bible-based. At the age of eight, a very important thing happened to me; I received the Lord Jesus as my Savior. Even then, I realized that this was the most important day in my young life. The gospel was faithfully preached just about every Sunday. However, beyond my initial salvation there was little growth in the Lord, and I had hardly any understanding of the Bible. According to Ephesians 1:5 God predestined us “unto sonship through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.” I realize now that God had a plan for me. I am so thankful to the Lord for saving me but I ask, “Why me Lord?” The second most important time of my life was probably when I was fifteen years old. I was invited to an international conference in Los Angeles where Witness Lee was speaking. I had never heard of Witness Lee, and besides my brother, did not know anyone else there. During the few days I was there, I realized three major, wonderful, and life-changing things. First, I found out that I had a human spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23). This is where the Lord as the life-giving Spirit came into me at the age of eight (1 Corinthians 15:45b; Romans 8:16). Second, I found out how to contact my dear Lord any time I wanted to--not just on Sundays! All I had to do was call “Oh Lord Jesus” (1 Corinthians 12:3; Romans 10:12-13). This name is so precious, so life-giving, so wonderful! Third, I found out, to my amazement, that the Lord was coming back as a bridegroom for His bride (Matthew 25:1-6; Revelation 19:7, 21:2, 9-10). Even more, I could be part of that bride (John 3:26-29; 1 Corinthians 11:3)! Hallelujah! To this day I still remember telling these three wonderful things to my sister when I returned home. I felt like the Lord made known to me the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Himself (Ephesians 1:9). When I returned home I was forever different, forever changed. I wanted desperately to move to the nearest city where there was a local church. The closest, Houston, was 600 miles away. Only the Lord Himself could have done what He did. Not only did I get to move to Houston but the Lord moved my mom and dad also. The night before we left for Houston my dear uncle came to me and asked me, “Can't you wait six more weeks (the time left for me to complete 10th grade)?” With my heart bursting with eternal joy I said, “No! I'm going home!” (Ephesians 2:19, 22; “So then you are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, In whom you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in spirit.”) To this I ask, “Why me in the local churches Lord?” This summer is my 29th year of meeting with the believers in the local churches. I have so much to be thankful to my Lord for (Colossians 3:14b, “...you were called in one body, and be thankful”). I think it would take too much time and space to enumerate all that I'm thankful for. But let me testify to you that all I am, and all I have I owe to my Lord, to the dear Christian brothers and sisters whose shoulders I stand upon (such as Watchman Nee and Witness Lee), and so many other faithful believers in the local churches now living all over the world carrying out this “great mystery” (Ephesians 5:23, “This mystery is great, but I speak with regard to Christ and the church”.) For this I ask my Lord, “Why me?” In conclusion, I feel I have yet to touch only the surface. Like the Apostle Paul I feel, “to me, less than the least of all saints was this grace given...the unsearchable riches of Christ....” (Ephesians 3:8) Possibly on that day, when I meet my Lord face to face, a question in my heart that may come up may be, “Really Lord, why me?” Vicki Bean | Back to List |
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